Incredible India

I am finding that there is so much to say, so many emotions, so much vibrancy here, that I am struggling to find the words to say it all. Here is what strikes me about India: everything. I am most taken with the people, the beautiful grace of their saris, their intense stares, their calmness amidst the chaos of horns, traffic, camels, cows, smoke. I am moved by the tangible way they respond to politeness and gratitude. I am touched by the way they cherish their children, relish their food, and find pride in their service of others. India is truly an amazing country.

This adventure is of course so much more than a trip, and being that this is the case, my emotional responses are much more heightened. Upon entering our first sightseeing stop in Delhi, I became acutely aware of how I look different than everyone around me. I became acutely aware because everyone was intensely staring at me. Even in the car ride to the sightseeing stop, heads on motorbikes and in cars would whip around to get a better look at me. This is not the first time I have traveled in a country where I look very different, but I am in an especially vulnerable place right now, and I felt myself becoming overwhelmed and self conscious. Several times large groups of women and men would want to take a picture with me, and I found myself politely saying no. It felt like trying to drink water from a gushing stream, like too much was flowing into me all at once. I struggled with having this reaction, because I want to be open to everything here. This is Asha's country, I want to know as much of it as I can. I spent all day Tuesday just really aware of the stares in my direction, of my differentness, and then something interesting happened. When I noticed a young girl with eyes fixed in my direction, I smiled. And she smiled back, and it was like the spell was broken. We had an instant friendship, and when she came over to take a picture with me, I felt honored. I realized that it is curiosity that fuels the stares, and that if I smile, I make room for a connection. Since then I have take many photos with strangers, shared smiles, and even a laugh or two.

Sightseeing in Delhi was thrilling and exhausting. In one day, we saw Ghandi's homestay where he was assassinated, the baby Taj Mahal, the Jamma Masjid (the largest mosque in India,) the Parliament building, India gate, Humayun's Tomb, the Qutab Minar, the Iron Pillar (it is 1500 years old!) and we took a rickshaw ride in Chandni Chowk. It was a full day of activity with our wonderful guide Arjun, and we were so tired by the day's end. We have been struggling a bit with jet lag, and find ourselves nodding off at 2pm, and then wide awake at 4am. Hopefully we'll adjust before Asha Day.

Yesterday we drove to Neemrana Fort, and spent the afternoon exploring the fort, eating and relaxing. Neemrana is a 15th century fort on the top of a hill, and it really did feel like going back in time to stay there. Over a beautiful dinner, in the night air, next to a pond of water lilies, Kirk and I talked about meeting our daughter. We both became tearful, and I realized that being in India has gotten me in touch with a feeling of sadness. I now know what Asha will be missing by living her life in the US, and not in India, and there is no way to get around this loss. Of the 3 days that we have been in India, 2 have been holidays. There are always celebrations underway, there is a sense of life here that is contagious and palpable. Asha will not experience growing up in this culture, and as much as we bring holidays, clothes, and customs into our home, it will not be the same. I struggle with this reality, and at the same time, feel very grateful to have been touched by India in such a way as to recognize its unique and powerful presence.

Today we drove to Jaipur, the pink city, and visited the Solar Observatory, and the City Palace. We also visited a block printing site, bought some gifts, and had a lovely meal of channa masala and baigan bharta (smoked eggplant.) We are staying at a very nice home stay, and have plenty of time this evening to relax. Kirk even took in a puppet show while I blogged! Tomorrow we head to the Red Fort for an elephant ride. This will be one of the highlights of the trip, although today our driver mentioned that very recently two elephants began fighting and the people on their backs fell and broke their legs. He also mentioned that several years ago two elephants attacked people and killed them. Hmmm, now I feel a little nervous. After the elephant ride, we drive to Rathambhore for a tiger watching safari! I would love to include photos of our adventures, but I am having some trouble uploading images. As soon as my internet connection is stronger, I will post many!

In one week, we will be holding Asha!