We received some hard news yesterday, and it's been difficult to think about how to write this post. The ins and outs of this are a bit confusing, so I will try to explain it all. Right now our paperwork is with an organization called CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority.) CARA reviews our giant file, and gives us something called a No Objection Certificate. This process can take months. Our paperwork has been with CARA for one month now. Yesterday, our caseworker emailed and said that, essentially, everyone waiting for the NOC has taken a step backward. See, before we were matched with Asha, she had to be cleared for international adoption by an organization called ACA (Accrediting Coordinating Agency.) Right now in Kolkata, a transition is being made, where instead of ACA clearance, children are being cleared by CWC (Child Welfare Center.) Asha was in one of the last groups of children to be cleared by ACA. Yesterday we were notified that CARA has decided that all children must be cleared by CWC, even if they had already been cleared by ACA. This means that CARA is sending our paperwork to CWC, and will not give us the NOC until after CWC clears Asha. After CWC clearance, our paperwork will be sent back to CARA. Our caseworker estimates that receiving our NOC may take 2 or 3 more months! Once NOC is granted, we still have the two part court process in India, the obtaining of Asha's Indian passport, and the appointment to be scheduled at the US Embassy. In short, what all of this means, is that Asha won't be coming home for a while.
Last night Kirk and I felt so disheartened. We tried telling ourselves that it will all be ok, but that is so hard to believe. We were feeling really down, so we treated ourselves to dinner out, and we began to have some hard conversations. We talked about celebrating Asha's 1st birthday on October 10th, without her. We decided we should have a cake, and presents. And we should sing her a song. And we talked about what it would be like to have Thanksgiving and Christmas without her here. My heart is heavy as I write these words. I am scared of what other obstacles may present themselves.
I feel somewhat better today, after consulting with some other Dillon moms and being reminded that I cannot see the master plan. I have to have faith that Asha will be in our arms when she is meant to be.
I will continue to nest, and I promise there will be pictures soon :) I will throw myself into my work, and getting the house ready. This Saturday is Kirk's and my 5 year wedding anniversary! We plan to spend the day in Sonoma, picnicing and wine tasting and eating dinner at our favorite restaurant.
Emmy, this news makes me so sad. I'm sending you lots of hugs. You and Kirk have been so brave through this whole process. I firmly believe that Asha can feel your love and knows that she has a family waiting for her. She's just happily growing and waiting for the day when you arrive to come take her home. We also will celebrate her birthday. She has already become such a celebrated member of our family. We think and talk about her regularly. Sometimes, I forgot that I've never even met her because I already have a place in my heart for her. You are so wise to trust the master plan, although I know how difficult it can be. Just remember that the universe IS conspiring in your favor, even though it feels like the opposite. Hang in there my Emmy! I will call you tomorrow!
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N
Oh, Emily, I am so sorry to hear that there are more delays. This waiting period can be SO difficult!!!! It is true that Asha will come home at the perfect time and that God's timing is perfect. Eventhough that is true, it doesn't make the roller coaster ride any easier. Hang in there and continue to make plans, celebrate each milestone, and treasure those quiet moments together as a couple. It will be harder to find those moments once Asha comes home. Call or email if you need to chat. Happy nesting. I look forward to seeing some pictures :-)
ReplyDeleteApril :-)
Hi Emily, I am debating on what to write on my blog myself. It is discouraging and you have the right to vent and let it out! :) But there are more lessons for us to learn and the "big picture" is still to be seen. In the end, we all will feel it happened just as it should have but being ok with the delays is not only hard..it feels downright impossible when your hands are always tied! keep your spirits up and enjoy a wonderful 5 year anniversary..(todd and I are celebrating 6 at the end of the month!). We are praying all of this gets ironed out quickly and things might pick up unexpectedly!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're caught up in what is essentially political red tape. It is so hard when it's your child that it affects. I agree that it is all part of His plan, but we all know how hard each day is without them. I hope they expediate clearing children that have already been cleared.
ReplyDeletePrayers from Maine,
Kristy
Feeling your pain. We know what is right, but the getting there can be torturous. I think your "survival plan" to celebrate the life of this precious child at every opportunity, even though she is not present in body is a wonderful way to show her one day that you loved her long before the day you met face to face.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary!
Julie
I think the waiting is even harder when you already know who your child is. Having photos, knowing her birthday, and thinking about all those milestones makes it the pain of waiting more acute. You have lots of company . . . we got the news right after I posted about our last fun week of summer, and I haven't had the heart to post about the delay yet. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteNancy
I totally understand how you feel Emily! It is very nerve wrecking and can be such aggravating pain. Some days cry and some laugh.
ReplyDeleteThink on the positive things...think things that are uplifting,good,true.Truth,God loves you all,Truth,She will come home,Uplifting...you will be a blessing to eachother,Uplifting...decorate her room,make her something. Just helping you out here. Now just a FYI from our experience,just cause they say 2-3 months,doesn't always mean that is God's plan...could be quicker,atleast just HOLD to that in a peice of your heart somewhere. You never know.
Hoping for better news for you all soon!!
Bring on these NOC's!!
Gidget:)
Call anytime!I'm here:)
So sorry to read this! We just brought home our daughter from India on Aug. 5. It was exactly 1 year from the time we first saw her picture. She was almost 19 months and although I certainly wanted her sooner, I have to say was a perfect age it is. Attachment has gone awesome and she is full of personality and fun. The wait is hard, but SO WORTH IT! Hang in there! I had to go private with my blog but you can email me if you want to look:
ReplyDeletejennifer@theheartofachildlc.com
Jenny