Number Two on the Waitlist

Wow, it has been over a month since my last posting. To be honest, I think I haven't wanted to check in because there isn't much to report, and that's hard to sit with. We are now number two on the waitlist!!! So that's good news. But the hold up in accreditation has made all referrals stop, and so moving up on the waitlist doesn't really translate into being closer to a referral. We have heard word that a temporary license was issued to the children's home. Initially, I was ecstatic, and assumed that this would mean referrals right away. As I continue to learn with this process, there really is no right away! I somehow thought that I could go through this waiting process and avoid the state of impatience and anxious tension that I feel now. I thought that if I didn't expect too much, and tried not to focus on when the referral would take place, I could escape the inner turmoil. I am learning, as I have learned in the past and will continue to be confronted with in the future, there is no escaping the inner turmoil!

On a positive note, I had a wonderful conversation with another adoptive mom over the weekend :) I felt energized by talking to her, by hearing her support and validation. She is about to travel to India to pick up her daughter. I can empathize with being just on the brink of holding your child, but not quite being able to go. She could empathize with the waiting for that referral, wondering what your child looks like, wondering where she is. I hung up the phone and felt like I had made a good friend. Quite possibly our daughters are together in the children's home right now. It felt so good to talk to someone who understands, and who could offer hope because she is on the other side (almost.) It really has been these other adoptive moms, their stories and blogs that have helped me to feel not so lost. They tell me that it will happen, that they felt the same way I do, and that it will be wonderful. I am grateful for their friendships. Perhaps one day we can even get together in person, our daughters reconnecting with the children they spent the first months of their lives with!